Parent Tip: Building Independence

by Stacy Charron, Principal at St. Katharine Drexel Elementary

As parents, our goal is not just raising capable children — but forming disciples who trust God, take responsibility, and grow in virtue. Independence, when rooted in faith, helps children learn that God created them with gifts, purpose, and strength.

1. Teach Responsibility as Stewardship
Remind children that everything is a gift from God — and we care for our gifts responsibly.
*Packing their backpack is caring for their education.
*Completing homework is honoring their talents.
*Helping at home is serving their family.
Responsibility teaches gratitude and stewardship.

2. Allow Productive Struggle
Growth often comes through challenges. Just as we grow spiritually through trials, children grow through effort.
When they struggle:
*Encourage perseverance.
*Remind them, “God gives you the strength to try again.”
*Pray together for patience and wisdom.
Struggle builds virtue.

3. Encourage Thoughtful Decision-Making
Help children discern solutions instead of fixing problems for them. Ask:
“What do you think Jesus would want you to do?”
“How can you handle this with kindness?”
“Have you prayed about it?”
This forms conscience and moral reasoning.

4. Build Routines that Reflect Order
God is a God of order. Predictable routines help children develop self-discipline.
*Morning prayer before school.
*Homework before screen time
*Evening gratitude reflections
Routine builds responsibility and peace.

5. Allow Natural Consequences (With Mercy)
When safe, let children experience small consequences. If they forget something, guide them to take responsibility respectfully.
This teaches humility, honesty, and accountability.

6. Praise Virtue and Effort
Instead of rescuing, affirm character:
“I’m proud of your perseverance.”
“You showed responsibility.”
“You chose kindness.”
Focus on virtue formation over perfection.

7. Avoid Over-Rescuing
When we constantly intervene, we may unintentionally weaken resilience. Trust that God is working in your child.
Small mistakes are opportunities for growth.

8. Offer Choices Within Boundaries
God gives us free will within loving guidance. Offer structured choices:
“Would you like to do homework before or after snack?”
“Would you like to apologize now or after you calm down?”
This strengthens decision-making rooted in responsibility.

9. Model Trust in God
Children learn independence best when they see parents rely on faith. Let them hear you say:
“Let’s pray about this.”
“God will help us.”
“We can trust Him.”
Independence is not self-reliance alone — it is God-reliance.

10. Remember the Goal: Forming Saints
Our ultimate goal is not raising children who can simply “do it themselves,” but raising children who:
*Trust God.
*Act with virtue.
*Take responsibility.
*Serve others with love.
Independence rooted in faith forms confident, compassionate disciples.